The last 2 days I’ve thrown the blog over to you to give you a chance to have YOUR say about a few things – namely, what you’re most struggling with, and what you’re NOT struggling with at this moment with regard to your CFS / ME / Fibro management.
So I decided today it was time to fess up to MY struggles.
I actually find it very hard to even speak in terms of “struggle”, because I don’t usually use that word in reference to my journey with CFS / ME / Electrosensitivity.
It’s a personal thing, but when I start to view things as a struggle, it leaves me in a disempowered, helpless position. It leaves me as a victim, and I refuse to be a victim of anything!
I’d much rather speak of it as a challenge or use other words that put the power back in MY hands, rather than handing it over to an illness, symptom or circumstance.
But, sometimes, as much as I want to be positive and keep an empowered context, if I’m being truly authentic – which is my aim – I have to admit I’m struggling with certain things at the moment.
I can restructure the context to say “I’m challenged” by these things at the moment, but in many ways I AM feeling disempowered by them, so they ARE occurring as a struggle.
There are 2 main over-arching themes within this struggle, and they are: Maintaining Balance and Pacing.
I am finding it a challenge to do both at the moment.
But that’s nothing really startling for me. Or for you I’d imagine.
So I wanted to get a bit more specific and let you in on 3 major areas where I’m experiencing struggle right now.
Here they are!
3 Major Areas Where I’m Struggling At The Moment In Managing CFS / ME / Electrosensitivity
Withing these major areas, there are many smaller sub-areas, but these are the 3 main ones just now.
1. Constant Pain From Electrosensitivity Headaches/Migraines
Due to the amount of time I spend online at the moment, building my blog, connecting with my audience on Twitter and Facebook, and generally attempting to build a business for myself online, the pain of the electrosensitivity headaches is testing me out even more than usual.
Taking on this goal of writing 31 consecutive blogs about living powerfully with CFS / ME, has put even more strain on me in this area.
And you may ask, as I often ask myself, “Why do you do it then?”
The answer is multi-faceted, but mainly comes down to 2 things.
1. I love following my passion of trying to help people with CFS / ME to do it easier than I’ve done it over the past 21 years.
I feel I’ve finally found my calling, and I want to make a difference in the world in the way that I’ve always dreamed of. Now I SEE how I CAN do that, I want to keep taking the steps to make it happen.
2. I can finally see a way for me to both help people AND create financial independence for myself, and I have never seen that before.
In the last 18 months I’ve learned a lot about online business, and have many plans as to how I can go about helping the millions of people with CFS / ME, while at the same time, actually creating an income for myself and my daughter.
More about that in the next part. If you want some insight into why I put up with severe migraine-like headaches and continue to use the computer, watch TV, use phones and so on, have a look at my blog – The Dilemma of Pain: An Unusual Choice – which will give you some perspective on that one. It’s not as stupid as it may first appear.
The pain causes even more fatigue than I usually experience, and requires me to balance it out with a range of management techniques.
So what do I do?
How I Manage It
For me to have no pain – or this type of headache/face pain – I’d have to completely withdraw from the world. No electronic devices on in the house anywhere, no use of phones of any type (not even texting as even looking at my smartphone causes immediate pain). No visits to doctors’ surgeries etc, etc, etc.
I tried that for a few years at the beginning of my 12 years of electrosensitivity. For me, that was no life. So now I choose life, which means I choose pain.
So, first, I choose it. I choose the pain every day. I accept it. I sometimes fight it, but I surrender to it much faster now. As I said on Day 1 and 2. It Is As It Is. Choose It.
From a physical perspective, no pain killers even touch the pain, so I don’t bother. Sleep is the only thing that eases it, and baths/showers to some extent.
So to manage the constant pain I do the following:
- Make sure I get good quality sleep, aided by medication – both pharmaceutical and natural
- I have a sleep/rest for at least an hour, but ideally 1 1/2-2 hours every afternoon.
- I meditate every day for half an hour of that rest time – with a guided meditation
- I have a hot bath every late afternoon/early evening for around an hour
- I have regular massages (as my neck is effected too, and just gets tight because I’m in pain so much)
- I do yoga before I go to bed every night (and sometimes during the day)
- I break up the times I’m online with these rests/sleep/meditation/baths/yoga
- Sometimes I just have to have a non-electro day. Hard to do with a 10 year old daughter, but possible.
2. Trying To Create A Viable Business & Financial Independence
As I’ve said above, I believe I’ve finally found my calling, and a way that I can both help a large number of people to live more empowered lives (the CFS / ME / Fibromyalgia community), AND create an income for my daughter and myself.
Because I truly believe I can do this in a way that will both serve the CFS / ME / Fibro community AND my family, I took a big leap of faith back in March and took out a loan against the equity in my home in order to pursue my coaching/blogging/podcasting online business.
This has meant adding a whole new aspect of pressure to my life, but it has also meant I have a real chance at creating financial independence for myself (and hopefully inspiring others to do the same – one of my many plans!).
With the unpredictable illness I live with, this is the only way I truly see that I COULD actually have the financial independence and choices that come with that.
It’s my chance to not have the constant stress hanging over my head of how I’m going to pay the next bill that comes in.
It’s my chance to be able to use the healing modalities and treatments that I know really help me, without having to worry about how I can possibly afford them.
It’s my chance to give my daughter options in what educational institution she goes to.
It’s my chance to have freedom of choice, and my chance to then share the wealth I create with others – from family and friends to larger charitable organisations (or even create my own!!).
Big dreams, I know. But I’ve decided it’s now or never. It’s time to go for my dreams.
I’ve employed 2 virtual assistants in the Philippines who are amazing women. So I now have a team to manage, along with everything else.
“Life is either a daring adventure … or nothing!” – Helen Keller (The quote on my fridge!)
So I’ve got a limited amount of time and money to make this work. To build my one-on-one coaching business, to create the online group coaching webinars and teleseminars, to create the online courses, and even the memberships sites that I believe will both act to empower my community of fellow CFS / ME / Fibro warriors AND create an income for myself, my daughter, my employees, and hopefully many others along the way.
And I’m not going to kid you. It’s tough. I’m just managing to maintain the balance.
How Am I Managing It?
- I have a great friend/coach/mentor who I talk to almost daily who helps keep me on track. We are each others’ best friends, online business partners (when we start earning anything ;-), counsellors, coaches, and fellow entrepreneurs. Without her constant support I couldn’t do it.
- I listen to motivational audiobooks and podcasts by people who’ve started from nothing and built successful businesses through taking daily action, keeping a can-do attitude, and just pushing on through the fears that often overwhelm me.
- I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I work hard to stay in the present and not allow myself to be overwhelmed with all that needs to be done to create my “empire” 😉
- I throw myself into projects like 31 Days To A Better CFS Life and see if I sink or if I swim. And in the process I create material that even surprises me by its quality, I learn to manage overwhelm, and I also learn to face my fears. I also learn as I go along. THIS kind of post was not in my 31 day plan, I can assure you!!
- I use every method I know to nurture body, mind and spirit
3. Being A Single Mum, Managing A Household, And All My Other Commitments
Trying to juggle motherhood and building a business, while also trying to manage chronic pain and CFS / ME is definitely a struggle for me right now. At times I find it a challenge, and at times it IS a struggle.
I am pulling out all the stops at the moment to maintain balance.
But I often fail. I often feel like a bad Mum (I’m not, but I FEEL like one!), my household chores often feel overwhelming (and some just don’t get done), and commitments to family, friends and my daughter’s school community (where I’ve volunteered quite heavily over the past 5 years) don’t get the attention I think they deserve.
Being a single Mum is tough enough at the best of times, but with CFS / Electrosensitivity pain, it is even tougher. My temper is much easier triggered due to the pain and fatigue.
I don’t do it all on my own though. My daughter’s Dad is very involved in her life, but he just happened to be away this past week in England (mad Liverpool fan, cheap flight, attempting to see them win the premiership. Don’t begrudge him that! Shame they couldn’t pull off the top spot in the end!).
This has meant that I haven’t had the break I usually have every Wednesday night, or every second weekend.
Last year my health was terrible. I was severely fatigued and extremely ill due to a stomach parasite, the detox of that, and a virus on top of it – oh, and the already-existing CFS / ME / Electrosensitivity. 😉
It wasn’t a good year.
So, even though I’m 90% recovered from that almost bed-bound state, it’s always in the back of my mind that I don’t want to go back there.
So I often have to reign in my Type A personality that wants to just go hard and fast, working continuously to get the results I want.
Often, as a Mum, I don’t have much choice as to whether I push on or not, but often I do, so I need to listen to my body at those times.
How Do I Manage This One?
- I work while S is at school, and try not to work while she is home. I then work when she goes to bed.
- She’s grown up with me having CFS and Electrosensitivity, so that helps. She’s used to me going for my afternoon sleeps and my baths. In fact, she gets to watch TV when I do that, so she quite likes it these days.
- I try to make meals that last over a few days or choose simple, healthy meals that I can just put in the oven and let go (while I have my bath!).
- All the above management techniques – baths, sleeps, massages, etc.
- All the things I’ve mentioned in my blogs about nurturing ourselves, lifting our spirits etc, I employ as regularly as possible.
- I listen to my body and (mostly) I actually take its messages seriously and rest accordingly.
- I also eat a very healthy, non-dairy, non-gluten, mostly non-sugar diet, with lots of supplements specifically identified for me by my kinesiologist, and herbal teas etc. That’s ONE thing I’m doing well.
- Sometimes I have a meltdown. I’m human!
Well, that isn’t the most motivating of posts I’ve written, but I decided I’d put you guys on the spot the other day, so it was time to put myself in the spotlight.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I struggle with lots of things. I’ve just learned many tools over the years to have that struggle last for less time than it once did.
See Day 1, 2, 3 and 4 for my main techniques in how I mentally manage my health and life.
Today’s Action Step
Identify ONE thing that you’ve been struggling with for a while that you know you could do something about, but haven’t done. For example, do you know that gentle yoga stretches help you feel better, but you haven’t been doing them lately (I can sometimes be guilty of that one). Just pick one thing, and take action to start empowering yourself in that area again.
This is way longer than expected – as usual!
Let me know your feedback.
I know I’m not the model-child of pacing, but you’d be surprised how much I DO pace myself. It may not sound like it, but I DO listen to my body and know my body very well.
Yes, I’m pushing a bit more than usual. But I’m also looking after myself a lot better than usual and committing to all the things I know to do that help manage my symptoms.
Until Tomorrow
Keep Smiling 🙂
Louise
Related Posts
Day 1: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 3 Myths of Acceptance That Hold Us Back
Day 2: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – It Is As It Is. Choose It!
Day 3: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 5 Ways To Control Our Thoughts When In Overwhelm & Despair
Day 4: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 6 Things You Can ALWAYS Do Despite CFS / ME
Day 5: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 7 Ways To Focus Your Thoughts On Something Uplifting
Day 6: 31 Day To A Better CFS Life – Being Present – 7 Simple Mindfulness Techniques To Help Manage CFS
Day 7: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Learning To Ask For Help – 5 Simple Tasks You Can ‘Outsource’ To Help Manage CFS
Day 8: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Discover Podcasts – 5 Steps To Finding & Listening To Good Podcasts
Day 9: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Listen To Your Body. I Am Today!
Day 10: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 10 Ways To Nurture Yourself & Fill Your Bucket
Day 11: 31 Day To A Better CFS Life – 5 Ways To Combat Spoonie Mother Guilt on Mother’s Day!
Day 12: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – My 5 Fave Ways To Connect With The Online CFS / ME Community
Day 13: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – How & Why Audiobooks Are A Great Illness-Management Tool
Day 14: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life -10 Top Audiobooks I Recommend
Day 15: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life: 5 Tips For Getting Tasks Done When You Have CFS / ME
Day 16: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – What Are You Struggling With Most Right Now?
Day 17: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life: What Are You Doing WELL In Managing CFS / ME / Fibro? What Are You NOT Struggling With?
Day 19: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 101 Ways I Manage CFS / ME & Electrosensitivity Pain
Day 20: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 5 Benefits Of Writing To Help Manage CFS / ME
Day 21: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Gratitude is Healing – 5 Ways To Practise Gratitude
Day 22: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – A Letter To Partners Of People With CFS / ME
Day 23: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – 7 Healthy, Safe Ways To Release Emotions
Day 24: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Letter To The General Public From Those With CFS / ME / FM – Part 1
Day 25: 31 Days To A Better CFS Life – Letter To The General Public Pt 2 – How You Can Support Someone Who Has CFS / ME / FM
Liz says
I just found your audio blog and that lead me to this site. It’s very practical and upbeat, and I’m enjoying listening/reading your posts each day! Thanks for all you do!
Louise Bibby says
Hey there Liz!
So glad you found my audio blog and are enjoying it! You’re the first one to give me any feedback on it, although there seems to be quite a lot downloading and listening. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t managed to record any more, but I’m sure the first 48 will keep you busy for a while. I really appreciate you taking the time to send a comment. Comments always give me a boost! 🙂
Keep Smiling (& happy listening)
Louise
LamdaPulse says
May this be of help to you
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Implications and Directions
“…these basic frequencies can re-activate stalled healing processes, enhance growth, accelerate immune responses, and generally “jump-start” functions inherent to the body’s tissues, by “rebalancing its energies” (according to Oriental medicine) or (in Beal’s terminology) by re-configuring the liquid crystal orientation of cell membrane components and thus triggering specific intracellular responses.
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