If you have read my previous 5 blogs on CFS, Pregnancy & Electrosensitivity: My Story, you may very well have been put off getting pregnant while living with CFS. That was not why I wrote my blogs. I wrote them so that 1. People have the story of what I went through and therefore can understand more of where I come from when writing my other blogs, and 2. Most importantly, there might be someone else out there who had a similar experience in pregnancy who I can help to feel a little more ‘normal’. If I can help one person by telling my story, that will be worth the anguish it took me to write them.
Saying that, I wanted to balance it up a little by writing this blog for prospective CFS / ME Mums or Mums-to-be.
My biggest message is: IT’S NOT ALL BAD!! MY EXPERIENCE WAS ABNORMAL IN THE EXTREME.
Don’t be put off by my experience (if you’ve read it). Some people have VERY positive experiences with CFS and Pregnancy, like this one I found on a great site called http://www.mecfsparents.org.uk
Based on my own, personal (non-medical) experience, here are my tips for women with CFS who are considering pregnancy.
My 10 Tips For Women With CFS Considering Pregnancy
-
Get tested for pyroluria/pyrrole disorder. If I’d known I had that and was treated for it prior to and during pregnancy, I’m confident my experience of pregnancy would have been much easier (and I very likely would not have developed the severe electrosensitivity that I did). In Australia I used the services of Safe Analytical Laboratories, who had a number of pathology collection locations in metropolitan areas. Contact them for more information. There also appears to be an online test available. This is a link to one such site, but if you Google it in your country you may find other options. I recently posted a blog about my pyroluria diagnosis. It’s a little emotional, but check it out if you’re interested.
-
Make sure you have a good illness management plan that’s working for you well before you get pregnant. Have a good routine established, be managing pain effectively, be managing fatigue as well as possible, be eating a well-balanced, healthy diet free of anything you are sensitive to. Basically, make sure you’re coping pretty well pre-pregnancy and pre-motherhood. The ME/ CFS Parents UK site seems to be a wealth of knowledge on all topics for ME/ CFS Parents & Parents-To-Be, so check site that out for more info.
-
Make sure you are in a very, very stable, supportive, loving relationship. In all likelihood, if you’ve got through CFS so far, your relationship is strong, but if not … well, do what you can to make it strong (counselling, communication) or just don’t add a baby to the mix unless you like the idea of being a single Mum with CFS. That may sound harsh, but I can tell you from experience it’s not all beer and skittles! And my relationship was very strong, but still didn’t make it!
-
Find other, positive accounts of CFS and pregnancy on blogs and websites. Mine is not usual and not positive. Balance that out. As mentioned before, I found this one on http://www.mecfsparents.org.uk I’m sure there are many more such positive stories on that site and throughout the internet. Mine, I repeat, is NOT a normal CFS and pregnancy experience!!
-
Know you have reserves inside you that you don’t even know exist yet. You will cope with whatever life throws you, particularly when you have another human being who is relying on you for their survival. You will surprise yourself!
-
Have counselling to deal with your emotions around your CFS – the anger, frustration, grief, sadness, fears, and anxieties. The more thoroughly you deal with them and really get to know yourself, the better you will cope with pregnancy and parenthood. In moments of stress, particularly as a mother, all our repressed emotions and insecurities come to the surface. It happens no matter how well we know ourselves. It dissipates quicker and causes less damage to our kids the more we are at peace with who we are. When juggling CFS and parenthood we are under even more strain than healthy parents, so the more work we do on reducing stress the better.
-
Learn gentle yoga and meditation and practise both regularly. This will help during pregnancy and afterwards.
-
Rally the troops! Make sure you have as many supportive friends and family around as you possibly can. Work out rosters of food to be dropped in for the first few weeks (or months) and stock your freezer as much as possible. Take on the scout motto “Be prepared”. And don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, during pregnancy and afterwards. Be ready and willing to acknowledge when you are not coping and seek help in whatever way is appropriate – whether it be counselling or just hiring a cleaner!
-
Don’t over-read or consume too much pregnancy-related material. It can spook you even more than my Pregnancy, CFS & Electrosensitivity series did! Sometimes ignorance is bliss! If you are generally a person who worries easily or tends toward anxiety, don’t read too many pregnancy book or blogs. Let the mystery unfold as it happens.
-
Everyone’s journey is different. If you really, really want a baby and you have CFS, talk to you doctor and other health professionals about the best ways to support yourself in getting pregnant, managing pregnancy with a chronic illness, and managing motherhood with a chronic illness. But if that’s really, truly what you and your partner want, don’t let anyone’s advice or opinions – especially mine – affect your decision. It is a very personal decision. So be true to you, and if a baby is what you want, like anything in life, follow your own inner guidance – with the willingness to live with whatever consequences that decision may bring.
It brought me a mixed bag – some of the most horrible health and personal effects I could ever imagine, but also one of the most joyous, wonderful experiences of my life (motherhood and getting to be a mother to my beautiful daughter!). And I would not give her back for anything in the world – even being pain free! (though on occasion when she’s giving me attitude, I may fleetingly reconsider that! 😉
I hope you found this helpful. Please feel free to send me any questions at Louise@GetUpAndGoGuru.com or comment below. You can also always visit our Facebook page or contact me on Twitter.
To read my CFS, Pregnancy & Electrosensitivity: My Story – Blogs, here are the links:
Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.
Keep Smiling
Louise
Related Blogs: “Allergic To Electricity”: My Story With Electrosensitivity, Trapped In My Body: CFS, Pregnancy and Electrosensitivity, The Dilemma of Pain: An Unusual Choice, CFS and Pain: A Silent War On An Internal Battlefield, CFS & Motherhood: A Complicated Mix on May 12,